Myself and a friend were recently the victim to a derogatory indirect tweet.
You know the kind that is quite blatantly a sly dig at you because it then gets deleted as soon as you reference it?
Well this keyboard warrior had us both in shock. This person had never taken the time to talk to us, yet we’d obviously done something to really piss her off to the point she had to indirectly tweet about us just to vent her anger.
We hadn’t killed any kittens, worn any real fur or slut dropped on a night out, but in some way shape or form we’d hit the red button and unleashed a twitter tirade.
It was hurtful thinking that someone could judge us so quickly, but I know we’re not alone.
We’ve all been part of these dramatic outbursts from those hiding behind a private profile, yet no-one ever has the balls to just come out and say it to our faces. And that’s because it’s made on pure judgement of what they think we’re like, rather than actually knowing us.
We all make judgements when we first meet people, it’s human nature, a way in which we’re wired so that back in caveman times we wouldn’t get pillaged by a neighbouring tribe. But hello people we’re in the 21st fucking century!
I’m not saying that we should all get on and hold hands around a fire singing kumbaya, but it would be nice to be disliked for a reason rather than on poor judgement.
The truth is, this bitchiness is primarily only found amongst women, and it’s a real sad state of affairs that it still exists beyond days spent on the playground.
Dr Sheri Jacobson, Psychotherapist and Clinical Director at Harley Street Therapy, believes “it is often a result of insecurity or a defence mechanism”. And I can completely relate to that.
Before I met my better half I had friends who would put food in my school textbooks, find it hilarious to regularly push me in a thorn bush and bitch about me behind my back so badly I had a breakdown.
Even when I met Mr E, I was an insecure mess that had been told by my ‘frenemies’ he was only with me for sex, (so not my amazing personality then?).
The spiral of insecurity continued into my relationship sending me into a frenzy whenever he went out because I was positive he was going to cheat on me. It wasn’t until I realised that I was their game rather than their friend, that I decided I was actually better off without any female friends because they’d only end up hurting me.
The mental pain they put me through felt like a deep wound that would never be healed, I was exhausted from all their bitching and felt like I’d been stabbed in the back more times than Caesar.
But I’m now beyond thankful that I’m past this. After years of fighting my demons, I plucked up the courage to start socialising again, and whilst I don’t have that huge group of girlfriends I’ve known since school to reminisce with, I do have the most supportive, intelligent, funny friends that anyone could ask for.
I know that this girl in question probably doesn’t have the ‘squad goals’ of Taylor Swift, but it would be really nice to know what it was that we’ve done to make her feel so badly about us.
If 2015 has anything to teach ladies of the world it’s that women with strong female friendships are taking over the world. Sisterhood is nothing new, but a recent study by The New York Times has looked at the golden “femships” of Amy Poeheler and Tina Fey, Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer to name a few, and found that Shine Theory is a real thing. When women support each other they feel empowered, and when women work together they succeed together.
Many of my closest friends have helped me keep my blog alive, and make me strive for bettering myself on those days when I have doubts.
If I ever have the chance to ask this girl what the trigger was for the verbal abuse I’m going to, because if she’s walked the same path I have with the ‘mean girls’ in life, then I’d like to make her realise that we’re not all like that.
The rest of us like to laugh at each others jokes, hold each other tightly when we’re going through total shit, and in my case send each other more cat memes than necessary.